Friday, April 23, 2004

Perfect timing


Someone or some group called the 'Yellow Red Organization' says they will conduct some serious terrorist activity from 20th - 30th April at some interesting places in eight countries including Singapore. (Note also that our Channur News Ayzure has conspicuously omitted our nation's name from the headline. Scared share prices plummet again.) Fear not, me and my fellow troopers from the 433rd Battalion, Singapore Armoured Regiment, will be keeping you safe. The Marder Cheebye terrorists always pick our mobilisation manning period to zho luan! (Jokes aside, I am keeping fingers and toes crossed nothing happens. Would-be terrorists note: I will be really angry if you cause me to be recalled next week. So angry I will really want to kill you). And I can't remember what my recall codeword is. Flying Oyster Omelette or something. As if I didn't have enough things to worry about. Work has been hell because of the number of mistakes I've been making. It's hard when you're your own supervisor. The conversation at dinner tonight might have shed some light on why I am so absent-minded. Mum was comparing my nephew's upbringing with me and my sibling's 3rd world one. Apparently, I had a nanny (we were quite well to do, by 3rd world standards) who happened to be an opium addict, and who would lock herself in the room, with me, aged 1.5, and languidly chase the dragon. I said maybe that's why I've such an active imagination (read: collection of phobias). Mum countered with, 'No lah. Your nanny and Kenny's (my brother) nanny locked up the house and took you all to Haw Par Villa to see all the demons and sculptures of disembowelled sinners'. Solved. In one fell swoop. Why I am absent minded and have a heightened sense of guilt.


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