Saturday, September 04, 2004

Treading fine lines


iTunes' party shuffle is playing: Crazy 'Bout An Automobile (Every Woman I Know) - Ry Cooder - Borderline
When you've got a face that looks perpetually inebriated, it is wise not to make another friend drive, or worse, drink a little and drive. The eagle-eyed cops can spot a drunk-looking front seat passenger from 45m out, and beckon your friend who drives to pull over, make you take out your IDs, car insurance and then ask if you both have drunk any. Being the dumb fuck that you are, you answer assertively and put your driver friend in deep peril, yes we had a beer each. How long ago was that? Oh, say about an hour or so ago? At this point, you hope to God and his mates that the copper will say, ok, that's good, you can go now. But of course, he mumbles something about whether your friend is confident of taking a breathalyser test. You go har? Because at this point, your heart is pounding so loudly you can't hear a word he's saying. The copper smirks, goes to his cop car and takes out the dreaded gadget and instructs your driver friend to take a deep breath and exhale long and hard into the tube. I have a friend who once inhaled long and hard from the tube, and it was funny, but this is hardly the time and place to bring it up, is it? My driver friend was fortunate enough to suffer an affliction that causes her breath to become weak and shallow at certain times, such as during a random breath testing police road block at 3am on a Saturday morning. She tried her darndest, huffed and puffed her lungs out, but could not activate the gadget, much less register any reading even after several attempts. The frustrated copper then let us go with a very stern warning. Something about if he catches us drink driving on this road again he will not hesitate to dunnowhat. For the record, we really only had one beer each, and if my friend's lungs were more powerful, she'd have passed the test with flying colours. But really, one really, really shouldn't drink and drive, or even drink and let someone else drive. Especially if one has a deep-seated, and some say irrational, fear about random police road blocks. It is not funny trying to look normal when you're trembling. OK, it may be funny, but this is hardly the time and place to bring it up, is it?


3 Comments:

Blogger icchantika said...

Yup, there's a 4-letter word for it. T-A-X-I. ;-)

9/05/2004 01:03:00 AM  
Blogger aGent X said...

be careful bro, the cops are dead serious about it lately. the stats have risen for double D cases.

me guilty of it sometimes, and knowing the road blocks location do not help.

9/05/2004 03:37:00 PM  
Blogger icchantika said...

Hi, I am glad you liked the Gospel of Thomas. The term "Doubting Thomas", according to prominent Gnostic author Elaine Pagels, is a character smear by the Johannine Christians (Christians who follow the Gospel of John, as opposed to Thomas Christians, Pauline Christians etc). It is believed that in the early Christian community, there were powerful factions led by Mary, Peter, Thomas, and John, or at least, their followers, and the Johannine Christians strove to undermine their influence. If you read John's Gospel, the first three were not portrayed flatteringly. Mary thought Jesus was a gardener when she first saw him, Peter denied Jesus 3 times (IIRC), and Thomas was the last to believe, who needed to touch Jesus to confirm, whereas the beloved disciple, assumed to be John, was the first to reach Jesus when he appeared, and the first one to believe. They hold no punches, these early evangelists. ;-)

9/05/2004 10:53:00 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home