Sunday, July 31, 2005

Press The Face: Interview II: Sumiko Tan

No more piles in your mouth! OK, bluff you one. Sumiko Tan emailed recently to turn down my request to interview her because ":) I'm afraid I'm not good at giving witty answers at all, and so it'd be a very boring interview." And in today's Sunday Times, she talks a little about blogs and... oh wait.. oh lordy me, it's a whole column on page 12 of LifeStyle! She says:
...What scares me more is the personal smut that litters the Net, the vicious gossip, invidious hearsay and the big, fat lies you get on some websites, chatrooms and - with blogging the latest communication tool - blogs... ...Little wonder then that the Net has become a repository of all that is nasty and brutish in human nature...
Nabeh, all you bloggers out there! Why you scare Sumiko liddat? See lah! Now she scared until cannot and don't want to be interviewed by me. It would have been fun, and we might have been enlightened by such personal Sumiko details such as how long her hemorrhoidal surgery took. Oh wait, she already wrote about that. Some more got what ah? Maybe about the time she accidentally used Preparation-H as toothpaste? You vicious gossipers, invidious hearsayers and big fat liars! Let that be a lesson learnt! We bloggers cannot so anyhowly burn bridges you know? As Sumiko says,
'Surely one must be guided by some decency and decorum?'
Sumiko says a lot more. A lot, lot more. But not as much as today's New Paper said about blogs. I think because there wasn't enough soccer to cover, the nation's top tabloid decided, hey, you know what? I have a brilliant idea, let's talk about blogs! No one has done it before! Blogs are so, like, you know, new and hot and funky, like, new and hot and funky, like? And I'll tell you, they've prepared for this Sunday's coverage way in advance. There's this New Paper employee called Jean Skye Tan who called and emailed me a week ago with questions that I answered with:
1. Age 36, Occupation: Businessman 2. I've been blogging since April 2004, the earlier entries on my blog being cut and paste from long emails I sent to my friends. 3. There has definitely been a proliferation of new blogs in the last year and a half. Technological advances have definitely made blogging easier, so that could be a reason. It's now much easier to post photos and videos. I don't think there's been a change in text-based content, though. 4. I don't think there was any major turning point in my blog turning popular. I think consistency in content's the key. If people like it, they keep coming back to read, and they'll tell their friends about it. 5. The 'infantile' comment was a long, long time ago. Bloggers hold no grudges. I can't even remember how I reacted. 6. So many blogs out there, it's hard to say which, in particular, has a particular focus. If you were to read my blog for example, you'd find instances where there'd be issues which I care for and write about. So you could say I am sometimes socially conscious. A bit like everyone else in real life. We're not all serious all the time, and we're not all funny all the time. 7. Humour is definitely a way to get someone's attention to any issue. 8. We gaze much further down than at our navels. Toes are fun to look at sometimes. 9. Will we become 'more political'? For mine, politics is defined as whatever issues that concern ourselves and our lives. So you could say we are always political. Bus fares up? Complain. Political what. 10. Of course bloggers are exhibitionists. Blogging is publishing. Publishing is public. 11. Age will not weary us. The disparity in ages is probably because younger people are more native to technology, whereas older people have to 'migrate' to technological advances.
From what was printed in the nation's top tabloid today, it is of course obvious Jean Skye Tan hasn't read this blog much. I don't just talk about grocery shopping! I talk about other things, like the time my business partner got shat on by this huge assed mynah and forgot to go buy 4-D. Damned lazy, these media outlet employees! Ivan Fernandez, another New Paper employee, is also, like, you know, scared of blogs and bloggers, like? In another page on today's New Paper, he says:
'They are faceless. And largely out of focus (huh?)... They hide behind cyber masks, but bare their hearts of darkness'.
Don't say they nair warn you hor! Bloggers are damn danger one ok? Surf stop: Janice Wong's Cyberjournal It's Just Not Cricket from the album "The 12th Man" by The 12th Man

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Friday, July 29, 2005

Missing in action

So I haven't been blogging a lot lately. I haven't been online a lot lately either. So when I did get online the other day, the chao mrbrown noted the time and decided to buy 4D. Then LMD also said the same thing when I called her, so she got mrbrown to get a ticket for her as well. Don't think they won anything though, because neither of them have quit their jobs yet. Life's been good though, and I've been doing a lot of grocery shopping. Y'know, the type of grocery shopping that leaves you with your room looking like a grocer's? Yah. Food on my table I nair buy from NTUC, because Cheetos cannot buy in Singapore one. Surf stop: Ahmad in Taiwan Three Coins in the Fountain from the album "My Way: The Best of Frank Sinatra [DJ Specialist]" by Frank Sinatra

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Fresh Chicken Juice

Wild Ginseng with Cordyceps Essence of Chicken (Juice) Is like a party in a bottle! I've been a little under the weather because of a very heavy weekend of birthday celebrations (that lasted until Monday, Yeehah!) So, it was very nice to come home and discover that my mother had stored some tonic-like stuff in the fridge for me to consume. I can't tell you what it tastes like, because it sorta defies description. Maybe the label might help:
This product is made from wild ginseng, cordyceps and fresh tender chicken prepared scientifically to retain its nutritious value. Recommendable for those physically weak. It alleviates fatigue, enhances appetite, accelerates growth, beautifies complexion, vitalizes and prolong life. Suitable to be taken by both sexes of all ages. Consumable hot or cold. Adult - 1 bottle, Children - 1/2 bottle (at a time). Contents: Wild ginseng liquid 10% Cordyceps 10% Extracted chicken juice (fresh) 80%
Freshly extracted chicken juice leh! Bei Mir Bist Du Schon (part 1) from the album "Clarinet a' la king" by Benny Goodman

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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

TODAY: Peanuts and Marina Bay provoke bloggers

TODAY 27 Jul 05 Excerpt:
The other day while dining at Adam Road Food Centre, the fruit juice stall-owner served our starfruit and watermelon juice with her usual banter. She said: Last time small that time, buy kacang puteh only 10 cents. Now is $600,000.
Read more here.

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Thursday, July 21, 2005

On my birthday

Some time ago, quite recently, Neil Armstrong pulled rank on Buzz Aldrin and jostled his way out the hatch of the lunar module, which was parked somewhere on the Sea of Tranquility. At round about the same time, at Mount Alvernia Hospital on Thomson Road, a mother recovering from a caesarian section contemplated naming her newborn first son after the lunar mission (Apollo 11 Lee), then after the rocket vehicle that propelled the nauts to the moon (Saturn V Lee), then after the lunar module (Eagle Lee), then the painkillers wore off, and she settled for a nice Hebrew name. (That nice name means 'Right Hand of God' in Hebrew, but that newborn first son turned out to be left-handed.) Thank you all who left birthday wishes on the comments system and email and sms. For those who share the same birthday, know this, you share your birthday with such people as Robin Williams and Ernest Hemingway. One is insanely funny, and the other shot himself. Today, I went to buy 20 bananas from Cold Storage Centrepoint, where I saw Chee Soon Juan stand on the five-foot-way selling his new book called 'The Power of Courage: You will never go hungry" (or something). I wanted to take a photo, but my hands were full with the bags of bananas and stuff. Instead, I stood mesmerised by his soporific chanting that went something like,
'Don't be afraid of the dark, gahmen intimidate us, transparency like NKF. Don't be afraid of the dark, gahmen intimidate us, transparency like NKF'.
I had to snap out of my stupor and continue making my way back to work. Birthday or not, it's still a work day, and a lot of work this work day has. It's not even over yet. Then I had to get to a computer fast, because I had to change all my passwords, which are all the names of my dead pets in reverse. If you don't already know, Xiaxue's Blogger and Gmail accounts were hacked into and their contents deleted. If you're reading this, hacker, don't worry, I am not threatening you. You'll get your comeuppance in due time. We're talking twenty years without probation, you chowcheebye! These are days. And they get a bit scary sometimes, so I'll paste this quote I've pasted a coupla times before:
Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don't open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground. ~Jelaluddin Rumi
FW: Lau Pa Sat catch fire because my cake too many candles liao. Today, Tomorrow, Forever from the album "Through the Eyes of Patsy Cline - An Anthology Disc One" by Patsy Cline

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Pat yourselves on the back, but not too much, because sekali people don't like

How do you volunteers do it? You've got day jobs and other things in your life you've got to contend with, and you still turn up and run the show like you've done Bloggers' Conferences all your lives. Damned good lor! Next time got international bloggers' conferences, you all have to volunteer again. I was so excited about the whole thing, I didn't know what to say to so many people who came, chatted, and went and chatted with other bloggers. Plus I did so little for the Conference, I feel terribly guilty. All I did was call Mindef to activate Daryl so I could take over the legal panel's segment, which was the best fun I've had in public in a long time. (Last time was when I had to take a dump on a traffic island in Loyang because there were no toilets to be found. Sorry, bougainvillea cluster, you been browned.) And what about Robert Goh being outed? Thank you Sunday Times! Anonymininity is for cowards! We are gonna run photographs of press reporters queueing to interview bloggers! So hor, since I'm so late (as usual) in writing about Bloggers.SG, I'll stop here now. Dowan people to call me Channel Newslater. Now, back to real life in meatspace and its attendant stuff to blog about. TODAY: Chip off the blog, 20 July 2005 Excerpt:
And, oh, to meet bloggers whose faces we've not known in real life, now that was a treat. Blogger Sarong Party Girl ( turned up after the Sunday Times reporters left, which is a pity. Because, if they had stayed on, they might have had the chance to witness that the Sarong Party Girl without her sarong is still pretty much a Party Girl.
Read more here. TODAY: Chip off the blog 20 July 2005 PDF version P.S. Thank you Serene and Melissa for a fine job in Digital Life's coverage of the Con. Sunday Times people, learn from them can? Sometime Other Than Now from the album "Slow Turning" by John Hiatt

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Sunday, July 17, 2005

Nabeh Sunday Times, you wait!

Yawn ah? Har? Yawn ah? Fucking heow! You wait! Limpeh settle with you when limpeh finish limpeh's work.

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Saturday, July 16, 2005

Bloggers.SG at DXO

Prease go, hor?

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Friday, July 15, 2005

An intelligent and articulate gentleman

I don't usually gush about other people's blogs, but this one can't be ignored any more. I've been following the lunatic bengisms of Rockson Tan for a while now, mostly because I want to read what other nasty things he'll say about me. But this guy has gone from relative obscurity to the dizzy heights of mainstream media fame in less than two months. Blardy amazing, and I'm still not sure why, though despite the vulgarity and unavoidable use of the Hokkien vernacular, he is actually compellingly funny. Rockson's NKF post is in my books the best roundup of this our local scandal, and I am proud to say that I may be the only blogger among the ones I know to have met the man. A sample of Rockson's praise for Mr Miyagi:
Then I see the chao shortfuck playboy Miyagi at the party! He no need to work is it? Every day party here party there. Can see from his blog, he like to bluff young girl heart and steal their sex.
Rockson Takumi Tan, you rock! One Rockson like, Mr Miyagi also like! Blinkymummy sibei yummy, hahahahahahaha! Surf stop: Talk Rock One Angry Dwarf And 200 Solemn Faces from the album "Whatever And Ever Amen" by Ben Folds Five

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Nabeh! You pay me money to blog one ah?

"Besides your weekly brag-post about your lil gig on Today and a few pathetic asides, it seems you don't have much to blog about lately..." -tosh
Sorry lah, cheebye. Got work ungderstang? But yes, point taken. I've been busy and trrd and sick and busy and trrd. Happy? Nabeh! Blue Charlie Brown from the album "Jazz Impressions Of A Boy Named Charlie Brown" by Vince Guaraldi Trio

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005

TODAY: Time for a trip, just to blog it

TODAY 13 July 05 Excerpt: A few months ago, a fellow blogger asked me if I wanted to take a road trip to Malaysia. I asked him why the sudden need for a trip, and he said, 'So we'll have something to blog about lah! Blog about a road trip, leh! Read more here.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Absolute cowardice

You bombers are cowards of the worst kind. You murderous fuckers!

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Wednesday, July 06, 2005

TODAY: Go ahead, tick off your boss, rant about a date

TODAY 5 July 2005 Excerpt:
Like how Evelyn ( writes about her boss giving her a task and then correcting her work: "What's the point of me writing another 2 lousy programs when he could have done it so much better...(my 3 pages become 3/4 page when he "edited")? Do also die, don't do also die." Or how like Fat Fingers ( has a "I want to..." list on the sidebar of her site that begins with "1. kill my boss".
Read more here.

Monday, July 04, 2005

联合早报: 现在:2005年七月四日

联合早报: 现在:2005年七月四日 Excerpt:
Something something something MR MIYAGI something something something MRBROWN something something SARONG PARTY GIRL something something TOMORROW.SG something something something BLOGGERS.SG something something XIAXUE something something KENNY SIA something something SINGAPORE.
Surf stop: Cynthetickravings Silencio from the album "Buena Vista Social Club Presents Ibrahim Ferrer" by Ibrahim Ferrer

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Silly goose

It's not often one hopes that one is suffering from the flu. I was told by the good doctor at Thomson Medical Centre on Friday night that I had to watch for symptoms of dengue, seeing as I had a spiking fever of 40'C, on and off (and off and on again Saturday night and Sunday morning). The good doctor also warned me that the new batch of Voltaren injections didn't come with anesthetic anymore, so it would hurt a bit. It hurt a little, enough for me to mutter Phua Chee Bye (Phua Chu Kang's long lost brother) loud enough so that the people outside the consultation room could hear. Sunday afternoon was a woozy one, but I thought, what better than to see if I have dengue by going out to meet a friend for coffee and see if I last an hour. I lasted three, but that was a pretty dumb thing to do just to test if I had dengue. So, kids, don't try this at home. Boiling fever not as bad as... Raging fever still not half as bad as poor Uncle Lapan's fate Surf stop: life in shades of sepia On A Bad Day from the album "Barricades & Brickwalls" by Kasey Chambers

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Friday, July 01, 2005

In sickness

It was a heavy day at work today, and not a very good day for that. In between work commitments, I put my hands on my knees and tried to catch my breath. My legs burned, my back ached, and there was a pain in my chest. I drove to the servo, buying a sweet beverage and a Mars Bar, which was just as well, because it was a long, tiring drive home. Mars Bars are comforting stuff. When you're thinking about stuff and stuff. I came home and my legs burned, my back ached, and there was a pain in my chest. I put my hands on my knees and tried to catch my breath. There are more than a thousand different strains of influenza, and different strains affect people in different ways. You ache, your head throbs, your nose leaks, and your general feeling of malaise makes you indifferent to everything around you. Dining at the Imperial Dining at the Imperial Cafe & Pub, McCallum Street I've Got You Under My Skin from the album "When I Look In Your Eyes" by Diana Krall

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